


What We Want, We Know We Can’t Believe

by thusdayschild42



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Anyways, F/F, Gay, Kissing, M/M, Minor cursing, Pole Dancing, Robbie’s a drama teacher, SO, Sorry if that’s puts y’all off this, Sportacus & Robbie are the main dudes here, Sport’s name is Alex, Teacher AU, The three other teachers are just OCs, Title from We Don’t Believe What’s On TV by Twenty One Pilots, Uh... I finished this in 3 days, enjoy, glanni and Ithro are there too, ill add more tags Igbo they get suggested or people ask for then, its all going up at once, love my boys, oh I also quote Shakespeare a lot, so much gay, so.... have fun??, sorry - Freeform, sport teaches gym, teacher!Robbie, teacher!Sportacus, that sounds....a little worse than it is, theyre pretty minor??? I love Molly though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 01:20:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15898002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thusdayschild42/pseuds/thusdayschild42
Summary: Robbie has gotten roped into showing the new gym teacher around school. He doesn’t expect him to be so... cute. Can he survive a year of this idiot? More importantly, can he avoid embarrassing himself in front of him?





	1. Robbie is tired and gay

**Author's Note:**

> So, here we go again. Those of you who have read my other works, welcome back!! This one is already finished since I don’t want to fall into the hole of non-inspiration again and disappoint you all again!!! haha hope you like it and I’d appreciate any comments! Thank you for reading!

Robbie hadn’t really thought about the fact that the gym teacher had retired last year. After all, the physical education wing was at the complete opposite end of the building, and he made a point of not talking to health nuts. He didn’t plan on thinking about it until he needed to, which would hopefully be later rather than sooner. That changed when he stupidly picked up the phone three weeks before school started. At seven in the morning. Who called this early, and in summer, no less?  
Apparently Principal Meanswell. Robbie sincerely hoped he wouldn't make it a habit.  
Then, furthering his stupidity, his sleepy brain decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and shut itself off, and let his mouth do all the talking for him. His mouth, differing from 99% of his regular speech, decided to agree to anything Mr. Meanswell said. The only upside to this was that things were resolved rather quickly, and so Robbie got to go right back to sleep.  
That’s how Robbie ended up walking out to his car at eight in the morning two weeks before school started to show around the new gym teacher. The only thing he recalled from the conversation was the time and some of his awful reasoning, like, “Oh, thank you Mr. Rotten, I’m sure you’ll bond over something or other!” And, “Mr. Rotten, thank you so much, you can make sure he feels completely comfortable in this new environment!”  
Or, alternatively, he could continue to be grumpy and hopefully never see them again. He didn’t even know their name! Well, that had probably been mentioned on the phone, but he hadn’t been listening.  
“Literally. Anyone. Else. would be better at this than me. Another gym teacher, maybe. Hell, why couldn't Milford do it? He probably couldn't be bothered to get up at this ungodly hour.”  
He parked in his usual place, right in front of the door of the arts wing. He sat for a minute before driving over to the gym and parking there. Predictably, there was the man Robbie assumed to be the new teacher, back towards Robbie, peering inside the door. Not so predictably was the fact that the new teacher was hot.  
He had blond hair that curled up in a fluffy mess and despite wearing a loose t-shirt with the number ten on the back and blue track pants, Robbie could tell he was probably the most muscled person he had ever had the pleasure to meet.  
Robbie stepped out of his car and slammed the door to alert the other to his presence. Sure enough, he turned around, and as Robbie got closer he broke into a face-splitting grin, treating Robbie to a view of the bluest eyes he had ever seen. Also, the most ridiculous mustache Robbie had ever seen.  
“Hello! You must be Mr. Rotten, my name is Alex Íþróttaálfurinnsson.” He stuck out his hand and, if possible, smiled wider.  
Robbie snapped out of his haze and shook Alex’s hand.  
“Um, yes. My name’s Robin, but you can call me Robbie.” Fuck, why had he said that? Nobody called him Robbie.  
“Okay, Robbie!”  
Well, maybe one person wouldn't be so bad. It definitely sounded good in Alex’s accent.  
Robbie swiped his card to let them in. “You’ll get your card today, it’s probably on your desk. If not, the office has it.”  
Alex nodded and followed Robbie down the hall to the gym section.  
“Here’s your office, I guess.” Robbie said.  
There was a neon blue post-it note that had Alex Busybody scrawled on it taped over the shiny new brass plaque on the door. Robbie growled and ripped it down, crumpling it into a ball and shoving it into his pocket.  
“Uh... Robbie? Why did it say my name is Busyb-”  
“Nothing. No reason. Now, this is-”  
Alex’s face twisted and he bit his lip. “Is it because my name is hard to pronounce and they don’t-”  
“Listen, Alex. Don’t worry about that, most gym teachers have nicknames anyways, they’ll help you pick one out if you want. It’s just an office joke.”  
“Why would that be an office joke?” he asked, eyebrows still scrunched up. He looked adorable like this, Robbie thought. Wait, no. No crushes on hot gym teachers. That was his rule. Definitely.  
Well, it was his rule now.  
“Uh, Ms. Busybody- the secretary, you’ll meet her- often likes the gym teachers. More specifically, their muscles. She’s a talker.” He sighed. “We change out gym teachers a lot, almost every year, and usually this happens at least once. It’s also usually one of the art teacher’s fault. You’ll have the pleasure of meeting them too.” he added sarcastically.  
“O-oh. I see. Okay.”  
“Don’t worry about it, it’s just a joke. Also, she’s been dating Principal Meanswell for almost a year, so the joke’s near dead.”  
“How do you know that?” Alex asked as they grabbed his key from the desk and walked down the hallway.  
“Are you asking me how I know two people are dating?” Robbie sighed and raised an eyebrow as Alex opened his mouth to argue. “Wait, don’t answer that. It actually isn’t well-known knowledge, but I take pride in my status as second-best gossiper very seriously.”  
Alex snorted, face still pink. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Robbie pointed out the cafeteria, the main office, and the teacher’s lounge as they walked down the hall. He ducked inside the teacher’s lounge to grab some candy from his stash. He offered a piece to Alex, who shook his head. Robbie squinted at him. “You another health nut?”  
He grimaced. “No, I just can’t eat refined sugar. It overloads my system and I’ll pass out.”  
Robbie stared at him. “You poor soul. Never a bite of candy. Wait, how do you wake up after you pass out? Just in case.”  
“Usually some unrefined sugar, like fruit, will balance it out. Or I’ll just wake up in a few hours after it passes through my system, or after I expel it.”  
“How do you know? Is your condition a common thing?”  
“No, very rare. It’s just once I accidentally ate some alone and I woke up a few hours later.”  
Robbie looked affronted. “You idiot. How does someone even eat sugar accidentally? Actually, I don’t care. More candy for me.”  
Alex smiled but added, “Candy’s not good for you either, Robbie.”  
“I do what I want, go eat some fruit.”  
Alex stopped Robbie to look at some of the lower grade’s decorations, still up from last year. Robbie grudgingly stopped and admired the walls.  
“Why are we stopping?”  
“To look at the decorations, Robbie.”  
“Why.” he asked in a monotone.  
“Because a lot of work has gone into them, and they’re pretty. Colorful and bright.” Alex responded. He was smiling up at a display for the second grade.  
If Robbie was alone, he would have screamed. That was the most bona fide display of disgustingly cute idiot he had ever heard.  
“Come on, we have to go meet some other teachers.” Robbie huffed.  
“Okay! What are their names?” asked Alex.  
“Lynda is the music teacher, Serena is lower school art, and Molly is middle and high school art. We’re going to where I’m ninety percent sure they are.”  
“All right. Do you see them a lot?” Alex asked, almost jogging to keep up with Robbie.  
“Eh, yeah. We’re all in the same wing and I suppose they’re my... friends.”  
“Damn straight we’re your friends, Robert!” said a voice from behind a closed door a few feet ahead of them.  
“Wh-” started Alex, but was interrupted by Robbie groaning, “Meet Lynda, Molly and Serena. This is the ‘Batcave’, also known as the bane of the janitor’s existence.”  
Alex pushed open the door and gaped. It was a tiny closet-sized room with fabric pinned to the walls, a a table wedged in the corner, and four stools. There were pillows in the corner, a piece of wood hammered to the wall holding a few paperbacks, and a wooden box on the table with some snacks and a bottle of water.  
The three women pulled out a stool for Alex, and he sat, still looking around.  
“Yes, yes, it’s very cool. The arts teachers come here instead of the teacher’s lounge to be mysterious. Even though everybody knows.” Robbie said, standing by the door.  
Lynda asked, “You’re Alex, right? I’m Lynda, this is Molly, and this is Serene, who should be cleaning her classroom.”  
Alex shook their hands and smiled. “Yes, I’m Alex, the new gym teacher. Why did you call Robbie Robert?”  
Molly shot him a look that could either mean, “Robbie?? You've got it bad.” or “Please tell me he’s not taken.”  
“During one of his conferences, a mom said Robin was a girl’s name and refused to call him anything other than Robert. Luckily for him, she has four kids. One in each year.” Serene explained, grinning.  
“Also luckily for me, the last one is in my class this year. Finally.”  
“Yes, yes, Robert. Where are you going next?” Lynda asked.  
“The theater, my room, then we’re done.”  
“Oh, goody. Alex, drop by anytime. See you later.” Serene said, and shooed them out. Molly grabbed Robbie’s arm and mouthed, “Do him. Do him for all of us.” She winked.  
Robbie flipped her off discreetly and led on.  
“Next is the theater, right around the corner from that mess. Do yourself a favor and never visit, they’ll all be fawning over you by week two anyways.” Alex blushed and started to stutter, but Robbie ignored him and kept talking. “We don’t use the theater much, only for Monday announcements, plays, orchestra practices, and the end of year war.”  
Alex perked up. “What’s that?”  
Robbie sighed. “Well, years and years ago, someone had the bright idea of pitting the arts and physical education departments against each other on the last day of school. All the other teachers are happy to just watch. Each year has a theme, last year’s was an actual physical war, with lightsabers. Kids, stupidly enough, get to vote on what the theme is.” Robbie rolled his eyes.  
“Of course, resulting from this, usually the arts teachers don’t interact much with the gym teachers.”  
Alex frowned. “Well, why can’t they just be friends? Why does it have to be war?”  
Robbie grimaced. “Well, that’s just how it works, I guess. Anyways, this is my classroom. I’m the drama teacher, if you hadn’t figured that out yet.”  
Alex briefly looked inside, exclaimed at the orange monstrosity that was Robbie’s desk chair, and they were soon walking back down to Alex’s office so he could get organized.  
“Bye. Remember to ask about the nickname thing.”  
Robbie had planned to make a quick and graceful exit, but Alex grabbed him and gave him a hug.  
“Thanks for showing me around! See you later!” he said, and ran into his office. 

Fuck. 

Robbie wasn’t going to survive two days.


	2. Sportaflop?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of school has arrived, and Sportacus asks Robbie a question. (No, not if he wants to go on a date, I’ve got more chapters to fill, Sportaflop)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pretty short chapter! Some of that good good plot though!!!

The first day of school was never a good day. At least it started on a Wednesday instead of a Monday.   
Robbie was sitting at an intersection five blocks from school at seven. His phone buzzed in his pocket, but seeing as he was a responsible driver, he didn’t touch it until it started ringing. He pulled it out and swiped to accept the call without looking at the caller, tucking it between his shoulder and ear.   
“Hello, what do you want.”  
“Hi Robbie, this is Alex, uh-”  
“Alex, how the hell did you get my number?” Robbie growled, almost running a red light.   
“Serene gave it to me yesterday, I just wanted to check my nickname with you.” he said quickly.   
“The day school starts? A bit late, but shoot.” Robbie huffed.   
“Sportacus.”

Robbie was known in his family for his poker face, but unfortunately, he was alone. He gave his best dead-eyed stare to his rear mirror.   
“Robbie? Robbie, are you there-”  
“Alex. You are telling me that you could have called yourself anything in the world, and you chose Sportacus. Spartacus, but with sports.”  
“Yes? Is that ok-”   
Robbie grinned maniacally. “Oh, it’s very okay. I have so many ideas. How many people have made fun of you?”  
“Uh, nobody yet?”  
“Well, then, I shall have to make myself the best before anyone else tries it.”   
Robbie said, completely seriously. “I’ll see you at school. Bye, Sportadork.”  
“Hey, wh-”  
Robbie ended the call and spent the last two minutes of his drive laughing. Maybe the first day wouldn't be so bad.

He parked and walked into the building, making a beeline to the teacher’s lounge. He made himself hot chocolate and walked to the Batcave. As he pulled open the door, he didn’t expect to see Alex, Molly, Lynda, and Serene all sitting and chatting. Robbie strutted in with a wicked smile. “Why, hello! Glad to see that we are all intent upon being lazy as long as possible. Especially you,” he pointed to Alex, “I didn’t know Sportakook here could sit still this long.”   
The women all burst out in laughter. “Oh, yes! We were hoping for that!” Lynda laughed.   
Alex turned red and smiled, groaning. “They made me call you. Molly said she knew you would do this.”  
Molly grinned and winked at Robbie. “Come on, ladies, time to prepare for hell.” They left, Serene still giggling.  
Robbie collapsed in a seat next to Alex. “So, Sportaflop, ready for nine months of nonstop chatter and kids throwing balls?”  
Alex smiled and answered confidently, “I hope so! Everything’s clean, and besides, I only have two classes today because of the assembly.” he moved to the pile of pillows and pushed into a handstand. “Robbie, do you think the kids would like it if I put on a show at the assembly?”  
Robbie took a sip of hot chocolate. “What kind of show?”  
“Flips? Maybe I could walk to the podium on my hands?”   
“Sportaloon, they’d love it. They’d eat it up faster than I eat pancakes. You’ll be their favorite teacher.” Robbie said.   
“Okay! But why did you say it so… unenthused?”  
“One, I am, in general, an unenthused person. Two, all they’ll ever say to you is “Can I see another flip?”  
“Well, that’s a good trade, I suppose. It wouldn't be much of a problem.”  
Robbie blushed and brought his cup up to face to hide it. Not a problem to do flips every five seconds? How strong was this guy?  
Alex folded his legs into a position that looked like it would tear Robbie’s legs off.   
“I’ve got to go check my room again and make sure things are clean. Have fun with your batch of screaming children, Sportapretzel.”

Robbie made his escape and walked to his room. He threw himself into his chair and checked the time. It was seven-thirty, just about time for people to start arriving.  
He pulled a piece of chocolate from the compartment in the arm of his chair and leaned back while he ate it. Fortunately, he didn’t have any classes first period on Wednesday. Unfortunately, the assembly was first thing, and it was a full hour long. 

Sayonara, summer.


	3. Robbie lies to himself and Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Robbie and Alex resist being dramatic? No!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short-ish chapter with No Plot.

It had been three weeks, and everyone was settling into the new school year’s rhythm. The classes had begun to lose their start-of-year buzz and Robbie was finally not chugging a quart of coffee everyday to wake up early enough.  
Well, that was a lie. He just did it where Alex couldn't see him, which meant drinking a cup at home, one in the car, and one hidden in a thermos in his chair arm. Yet Alex had already seen him sipping from that, so Robbie was just waiting for another health lecture. He had exactly three things keeping him from going insane. One, the video a middle schooler had posted of Sportacus at the meeting on the first day. (He had said to Robbie, flips. During the assembly, he did flips to the podium, then climbed it and performed a handstand above it to introduce himself. Robbie had been halfway between crying and laughing.) Two, his stash of candy in the teacher’s lounge. Three, Alex had begun sitting in on some of his classes.  
It had started on Wednesday the first week, in last period. Robbie was trying out a new play this year, testing if the kids liked it. Romeo and Juliet - of course, a few parts were tweaked to fit the number of kids he had. He was lucky to have enough time to do even excerpts from such a big production, since the fine arts department had given him three periods a week a few years ago. The kids were just getting back into the groove of competing for parts and memorizing lines, but at the end of the first week was when Robbie liked to introduce the next part- motions and dramatics. Class had just started, and the sixth graders were seated on the floor.   
“All right, squirts. Listen up- and Stingy, give that script back to Pinky. Here we go. Today, we’ll be doing something different. Roles will be assigned next week, but first, we’re going to go over my favorite part: the acting. You all know how to memorize lines, but you also need to know how to put action with them, or it’ll be a very boring play. Now, what part do you want me to use as an example?   
“Romeo!” cried one from the back.   
“No, Mercurio!”  
“Nuh-uh, Juliet!”  
“Okay, okay! Nevermind, I’ll pick one- I’ll do Juliet, I know all her lines.” Robbie stood straight. “You all probably know this part, and if you don’t, get out of my class.”

“Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, Or, if thou, wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet.”  
The door to the classroom cracked open and a voice called in quietly from the hallway,   
“Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?”  
Robbie whipped his head around and peered through the window on the door. Alex winked back at him. The kids all giggled and waved at him.  
Robbie continued, “Tis but thy name that is my enemy, thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What’s a Montague, it is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name!” Robbie swept the air with his hand and went on,  
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes. Without that title, Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself.”  
“I take thee at thy word, call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized. Henceforth, I never will be Romeo.” Alex called from the hallway. Robbie had to admit, he knew his stuff.  
“What man art thou that, thus bescreened in the night, so stumblest on my counsel?”  
“By a name, I know not how to tell thee who I am. My name, dearest saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee. Had I it written, I would tear the word.” Alex was still peeking in, head halfway around the door.   
Robbie kept going, “My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words of that tongue’s uttering, but I know the sound. Art thou not Sportacus, and a gym teacher?”  
The kids all laughed as Robbie kept in character, waiting for an answer.   
Alex stepped into the classroom and announced, “Neither, fair Mr. Rotten, if either thee dislike.”  
Robbie turned toward the class, who were still giggling. “Right. Thanks to Sportacus, we got an even better example of acting. Some main points to remember are: use big gestures, speak loudly, and always keep your front to the audience.”   
Robbie paused to let the information sink in. Not to watch Alex sit behind the children and do a splits effortlessly. Alex grinned up at Robbie, cheeks flushed, and motioned him to continue.  
“So what do you want to do when you act?”

After class ended and the children had gone on to pack up and go home, Alex stood and brushed off his pants. Robbie had been surprised to see that the track pants had become the unofficial Sportacus uniform. Whatever, he wasn’t complaining.   
Robbie walked to the back of the classroom to avoid making eye contact with Alex, opening a few drawers and rummaging around for some chocolate.   
“Robbie, that’s- that’s not good for you.” Alex stuttered as Robbie bent over to look into a bottom drawer, pulling out a piece of Hershey’s triumphantly. They both winced when his back cracked as he stood up.   
“Well, neither is living off apples, hmm, Sportadork?”  
“I eat other things!”   
“My point stands. Anyways, did you need something?” Robbie stared straight as Alex as he put the chocolate in his mouth.   
Alex opened his mouth to reply, a little distracted. “Um, nevermind. I’ll just be going, I need to.. organize the equipment. Bye, Robbie.” He walked to the door, muttering something under his breath. It sounded a little familiar to Robbie, but he couldn't really hear it that well, so he put the thought aside. Shrugging, he sat down. It was probably nothing.   
He hoped.


	4. Glanni invades Robbie’s privacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie is sick! Glanni comes to ask personal questions and take care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glanni, my boy.

Robbie couldn't remember the last time he had woken up at two am. Well, actually, it had been five days since that had last happened, but he couldn’t remember the last time he had woken up and been intensely nauseous. He rushed to the bathroom just in time, ending up with his forehead pressed against the cold porcelain and feeling worse than before. It took a good twenty minutes for him to gather the courage to venture back into his bedroom to grab his phone. He sat down on the bathroom floor, wrapped in a towel and shivering as he typed out a quick email to Principal Meanswell informing him that he wouldn't be able to come in on Monday. That left him only a few hours to find a substitute, but despite being a little flaky sometimes, Mr. Meanswell was a responsible principal and always found a way to get things done. That left Robbie slightly less worried.   
He knew that he should probably ask someone for a little help for the next few days, but instead, he decided to make an emergency trip back to the toilet. After an hour of crouching on the cold floor, his stomach lessened its twisting enough for Robbie to slump downstairs and curl up on the couch, pulling a pile of blankets and pillows on top of himself. His eyes drifted shut and he was asleep in minutes. 

Robbie woke to the sound of someone clattering about in the kitchen. Sun streamed through the windows and lit up the inside of the house. He tensed up and slid off the couch, clutching a pillow like a shield. He crept to the hallway and rasped, “Who the hell are you, and why are you in my house?” before putting his head around the doorway.   
“Why, pumpkin, I’m your favorite cousin, here to check up on you.” Glanni grinned, pulling bread from a cabinet.   
“How.. how did you know I’m sick?” Robbie asked, at a loss. He sat at the table.   
“Your boytoy called me, he was worried. He’s absolutely precious. Alex? He said something about texting him later. ”  
Robbie turned red and stammered, “He’s not my… We’re not.. He’s just.. How did he get your number?”  
Glanni grinned. “Have I ever told you that the blonde one, the art teacher, what’s her name? Anyways, she would make an excellent spy.”  
“Molly. I told her to stop hacking my phone.”  
“Well, she’s very smart, we talked for a while. It’s almost one in the afternoon. You still feeling sick?”  
Robbie nodded. Glanni popped two pieces of bread in the toaster. “Okay! You already emailed Mr. Boss-man I suppose, so-”  
“Glanni, I’m not eight. I don’t need you mothering me. I can handle a few days of the flu.”  
Glanni frowned. “Well, you haven't been sick in eight years, I’m allowed to be worried. Only two months into the year, and already you're sick.” He sat down across from Robbie and leaned over the table. “Lovesick, too, I hear from Molly. Now spill the beans on Mr. Muscles.”  
Robbie glared at him and wrapped his arms around the pillow. “Glanni, I’m a grown man, we’re not doing this.”  
“Yes we are, I want details. What’s he look like?”  
Robbie scowled at the tabletop. “Are you going to leave me alone if I do?”   
“No, but I won’t call Molly and ask her.”  
“Fine, he looks like if Adonis grew a stupid moustache and got like 20% more ripped. Happy?”  
Glanni gasped and tipped his chair back. “Oh my god. What’s his personality?”  
“If a Golden Retriever had the ability to do flips and lecture about healthy food.” Robbie said dully, head on the table. He put the pillow over his head.  
“Oh my god, I need more. Go on, pleaaase.” Glanni said, tipping back further and laughing.   
“Fine, you ass, his hair is blonde and fluffy and he always wears stupidly tight tracksuit bottoms, and sometimes he sits in on my classes, and I’m pretty sure he would die of happiness if I ate an apple. Please go away.”  
Glanni burst out laughing, accidentally tipping the chair too far back and hitting the floor with a grunt. He replaced the chair and took out the toast, putting it on two plates.   
“Can I meet him?”  
“No.”  
“Really? Wow, you’ve got it bad.” Before Robbie could protest, he added, “How hot is he? On a scale of one to ten.”  
“....twelve?”  
Glanni grinned wickedly. “Yep, I’ve got to meet him.” He placed a plate of toast next to Robbie’s head. “Here, eat up, honeybug.”  
Robbie lifted his arm long enough to give Glanni the finger.  
“Fine, I’m sorry for drilling you for info about your crush.”  
“He’s not..”  
“You can’t even deny it, honey nut. Eat your food, you look weak.”  
Robbie sniffed the plain toast, hesitantly taking a bite. Glanni sat back down, his toast covered in marshmallow fluff.   
“So, how’s school goin-”  
Glanni was cut off by Robbie lurching out of his seat and dashing to the bathroom. He winced and followed.   
“It’s okay, Robin. Sugarpie, I’m here, you’ll be fine in a minute.” He sat next to Robbie and rubbed his back slowly. “It’s going to be all right.”  
Robbie hunched over the toilet for a few minutes, dry heaving. Glanni handed him a towel to wipe his face.   
“C’mon, we’re going to get you back in bed, okay?”  
Robbie nodded weakly.   
They stumbled up the stairs, Glanni supporting Robbie and laying him down on his bed. He pulled up the covers and said, “I’ll be downstairs if you need, me try to go back to sleep. I’ll do laundry. Do you want me to text Alex for you, to say you’re okay?”  
Robbie shook his head and stuck a hand out from under the pile of blankets. Glanni gave him a betrayed look and asked, “Where’s your phone?”  
“Bathroom.” Robbie said in a gravelly voice.   
Glanni retrieved it and stood in the doorway. “Okay, well. I’ll be downstairs. See you when you wake up, pumpkin.”  
Robbie nodded and picked up his phone, typing fast.   
Glanni left the room.   
Robbie checked his messages, and sure enough, there were five from Alex.   
“Robbie? You’re not at school yet. Is everything okay?”  
“I just asked Mr. Meanswell, he says you’re on sick leave.”  
“Is anyone else there? Do you have help?”  
“Molly gave me your emergency contact, I called him. He says he’ll come over, he’ll be there soon.”  
“Are you okay?” 

Robbie replied, “I’m fine, he got here a bit ago. I’ll be back in a few days probably, don’t worry about me.”  
He placed the phone on his bedside table and closed his eyes. He couldn't tell if the feeling in his stomach was nauseous or fluttery.   
He fell asleep quickly.   
______________________________

Glanni decided to peek back in on Robbie after half an hour. He saw him sleeping soundly, curled into a tiny ball. As Glanni watched him sleep for a second, the phone vibrated on the table. Glanni hesitated for a split second before creeping across the room to check it. It was from a contact named ‘Sportakook’   
That must be Alex, Glanni thought. 

“Sorry for answering late! Good, he got there. I’ll keep worrying about you until you’re back. Get better soon! ( :^}>) <3”

Glanni smiled. Maybe Robbie wasn’t as hopeless as he seemed.


	5. Robbie appreciates Alex’s leggings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex wears leggings, and everyone in the vicinity drops dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some plot. A longer chapter.

It turned out to only take four days for Robbie to be back to normal. On Friday morning, Glanni handed him a pile of clothed and shoved him into the bathroom. “The shirt brings out your eyes, honey bun, wear it!”  
Robbie poked his head out and frowned. “Glanni, I can pick out my own clothes.”  
“But not as well as I can.”  
Robbie slammed the door.  
At seven thirty, they pulled up to the school in Glanni’s hot pink car.  
“I thought you sold this thing ages ago.” Robbie commented as he got out.  
“They backed out once they saw it.”  
“Unsurprising, I almost threw up again this morning after I saw it.”  
Robbie shut the car door and started to head into the school, but a voice called, “Robbie! Hey, Robbie!”  
Both turned to see Alex jogging towards them in a tank top and leggings. Glanni whispered, “Holy shit.”  
Robbie glared at him and turned to Alex. “Hello, Sportaflop. Had a good four days sans me?”  
“I was worried! Is this your emergency contact? His car is…. Very pink.”  
Glanni leaned out the window. He smirked with half-lidded eyes. “My name’s Glanni, you must be Alex. I’ve heard all about you from Robbie here. Your leggings are very... flattering.” He said, voice almost a purr. He winked at Robbie, who groaned silently.  
Alex blushed and fumbled over his words for a second. ”Oh, really! That’s nice! T-Thanks!” He turned to Robbie. “Sorry, I’ve got to go clean up before school starts. See you later!” and jogged towards the gym.  
Glanni dropped the act and beckoned Robbie back to the car. “Robin. Robin, hot damn. Those leggings. I’m resigned to a fate of never getting a piece of that,” Robbie flushed, “But you still have hope. I want to get a call before I visit for the war saying you’ve gotten a piece of that ass. I will call Molly. Hear me?”  
Robbie scanned the mostly empty parking lot for any listeners, leaned down to Glanni, and hissed, “If you so much as say hi to him again I will break into your house and steal all your chocolate.”  
Glanni bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing. He revved the engine and called out the window, “Best of luck! Call me!” before tearing out of the parking lot. 

Robbie sat in his orange chair, waiting for the first period class to start, when his phone buzzed. He picked it up quickly to check, but all it read was, “He called you Robbie.”  
___________ A few hours later_________

The day passed almost normally, with only a few students asking about his absence. Finally, he had only one class to go until lunch. The kids were in small groups, going over gestures and learning lines. Robbie was marking up a script with highlighter, trying to decide which parts should go to which kids.  
A quiet knock made him look up. A few children looked up, but quickly went back to work. Robbie got up and opened the door.  
“Sportadoof, you don’t need to knock.” Robbie said, opening the door. “Go sit near the prop table.”  
Alex headed to the table near Robbie’s chair and picked up a fake rose, twirling it in his hands.  
“Sorry about Glanni this morning, he’s annoying.”  
“He’s your…”  
“Cousin. Works over in Mayhem town. Well, I say works…”  
Robbie trailed off and marked a few more lines off the script. Alex put the rose down and lifted himself up into a handstand.  
“He seemed nice.”  
“Appearances lie, Sportadumb.”  
Sportacus shrugged and switched to a one-handed handstand. In the background, the kids murmured to each other. Robbie caught himself doodling in the margins. Blue eyes outlined in pen on the bottom of page 20. Some loose yellow curls scrawled in between lines on page 23. The number ten on the top of page 26.  
Robbie shut the script and stood up. He dumped the highlighters in his drawer and grabbed a mess of wires and sat back down, heart pounding. Shit. He knew the man was hot, sure, but he didn’t think it would turn into something else. A crush. Love- no. Not love, not yet. He didn’t even know if he liked men. 

Alex lowered himself down and sat cross-legged in front of Robbie’s chair, watching him untangle the wires.  
“What do those go to?” he asked quietly.  
“One of the lighting systems malfunctioned because of a loose wire, I need to replace it.” Robbie murmured, focused.  
Alex tugged on some of the orange fur coating the chair. He was entranced by Robbie’s hands deftly threading wires through loops, gradually loosening them.  
Blue, purple, green, yellow. Green, green, blue, yellow. Blue, purple. Blue, purple. Blue, purple.  
The bell rang and Alex jolted upright.  
There was a mass exodus of all the children, some yelling,  
“Thanks, Mr. Rotten!”  
“Bye!”  
“See you on Monday!”  
Robbie put the wires on his desk next to the script and took a long pull of coffee from his thermos. He squatted down to check on a small whirring machines. Alex stood by the door, waiting. His face was dusted with a light blush as Robbie’s pants tightened when he bent over to rearrange the machines. They stretched across his thighs and ass, and his shirt lifted up a little so Alex could see a thin line of pale skin.  
“Fokk.” Alex whispered under his breath.  
Robbie stood after a few seconds and walked to the door.  
“Lunch, I suppose?” he asked Alex.  
Alex noticed that the sky-blue shirt Robbie was wearing brought out the blue in his grey eyes.  
He nodded. “Let’s go, Robbie.”  
They collected their trays and brought the food back to the Batcave, where Molly was already waiting.  
Robbie claimed one of the stools, while Alex set his tray down on the table, grabbed an apple, and started doing one-handed pull ups on the doorframe.  
“Sportaloser, eat your lunch.”  
“I am.”  
“Eat it sitting down like a civilized being.”  
Alex shook his head and smiled.  
Robbie sighed. “Molly, I would tell you again to stop hacking my phone, but I know you won’t listen. Where’s Serene and Lynda?”  
“They had work to do. They might also just be gossiping with Ms. Busybody, I’m not sure. You’re all better from the flu?” Molly asked.  
“Yeah, I’m fine now.”  
“Do you know what you’re going as for the dance?”  
“Probably a vampire again.” Robbie shrugged.  
“Wait, there’s a Halloween dance?” Alex asked, pausing his workout.  
Molly grinned. “Yeah, in a month. Usually most of the teachers come to chaperone, since anyone that comes to help out gets to go to a teacher after-party as a prize.”  
Robbie butted in, “Both are awful.”  
Alex said, “I’m sure it’s not so awful. I can help out, if you want?”  
Robbie grimaced, while Molly agreed, “Sure! We could use as many hands as we can get! You’ll have fun, I promise. I can help you pick a costume.”  
Robbie ate another bite of cookie. Abruptly, he sat up in his chair. “Shit, I forgot. I have to go, I reserved the woodshop to make some props.” he grabbed his tray and rushed out the door, almost running over Lynda and Serene, who were on their way in.  
“Bye, Robbie!” Sportacus called.  
He heard a mumbled reply of “Bye, Sportadork.” as Robbie left.  
“So, Alex, what’s up? You and Robbie seem closer than at the beginning of the school year.” Serene nudged him and grinned.  
Alex blushed again and chuckled. “I guess, he doesn’t seem as grumpy.”  
“Okay, okay. I gotta say it. Do you like Robert?” Molly asked, devilish smile plastered on her face.  
“U-uh, yeah, I like Robbie. He’s very nice and a good friend!” Alex stuttered out.  
“No, do you like-like him?”  
Serene rolled her eyes. “Molly, you sound like a second-grader at recess. Here’s how you do it. Alex, do you think he’s hot?”  
Alex turned red and stammered. “I, uh. May-maybe?”  
Molly whined, “C’mon, Sportacuus, we need a yes-or-no.”  
Lynda smiled at him. “Alex, it’s fine if you do or don’t, literally all of us don’t mind. Molly will tell, her girlfriend actually visits a lot.”  
“Well, um. Yes, I think he’s hot.” Alex said, and smiled as Molly immediatly high-fived him.  
“Woo! There we go. Making progress here.” Serene cheered.  
“Wait, is Robbie gay? I kind of thought so, but I didn’t want to assume..” Alex asked.  
“Yep! He is.” Molly answered cheerily.  
Lynda added, “Hey, Alex, are you going to the Halloween dance?”  
Alex nodded, still smiling and face red.  
Molly and Serene looked at each other, and exchanged whispers for a few seconds.  
Molly cleared her throat and announced, “Well, Sportacus, I bet that you can’t kiss Robbie at the after-party.”  
Serene smirked. “Oh, and what are we betting on, Molly?”  
“What costume are you wearing, Alex?”  
“I was thinking about Legolas, from Lord of the Rings?”  
“Wonderful. Great. Well, if you don’t, then you have to wear the elf ears for two months after. Do you accept the bet?”  
“I’ll take it, but on one condition. If I try, and Robbie doesn’t want to, I don’t have to wear the elf ears, and you all have to install a bar for me to do pull-ups on above the doorway.” Alex wagered.  
“Taken.” Molly agreed. “You’re literally the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way.” She paused. “Besides my girlfriend.”  
Alex laughed. “Thank you.”  
The bell rang, and they scattered back to their respective classrooms.


	6. Alex gets jealous and everyone really likes how he deals with his anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Halloween ball! A long chapter again. In which Robbie ignores his feelings and Alex gets jealous.

Robbie sat outside the school for a few minutes, gathering his courage. He could hear music pounding from the gymnasium inside, and see a few kids trickling in through the open doors of the school. He adjusted his collared shirt and cape and stuck the fake fangs in his mouth. He looked in his rearview mirror. He looked like a vampire from a low-budget horror movie, but it would get the job done. He got out of the car and strode down the sidewalk to join everyone else in the gym.   
At least fifty kids were inside already, with more coming in rapidly. He didn’t see any other chaperones at first glance, so he made a beeline to the snacks table. Armed with a glass of punch that looked like blood and three pumpkin cookies, Robbie retreated to the far wall, where he was able to watch all the kids and still be out of the way. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, taking a sip of punch. 

Alex was clad in a fleece robe, a long blond wig, and fake elf ears that everyone thought were hilarious. He slightly regretted the fleece robe though- it was hot already. Molly, Serene, and Lynda had all arrived right before him in a group, so he walked into the party flanked by three Wonder Women. He scanned the noisy dance floor and snack table for Robbie, and caught a glance of him leaning against the back wall. His skin almost glowed in the spotlights with the white makeup on, and as Alex led the way towards him, he got a better view. Robbie had on a collared shirt stained with streaks of red, a purple cape that brushed the ground, and- black skinny jeans? Alex slowed and stared as Robbie gulped some of his punch, watching the way his Adam’s apple moved fluidly. Molly ran ahead of him, stealing one of Robbie’s cookies.   
“Hey, those are the only things keeping me alive right now.” Robbie protested.   
“Well, there are plenty more to get you through the next two hours, after that you can use alcohol.” Molly bumped his shoulder. Robbie scowled at her, baring his fake fangs.  
“Wow, very scary. Love the teeth.” She laughed.   
Lynda patted him on the back. “Relax, have fun. There’s some healthy snacks too, if you want.”  
He nodded and headed towards the snack table.   
Once he returned, Robbie commented drily, “Love the ears, but your mustache is ruining the look.”  
Alex shrugged. “A little, but that’s okay.” He crunched on a carrot and handed Robbie two cookies.   
“Sportahealth? Encouraging me to eat sugar? I thought I’d never see the day.”  
“Well, I don’t want to see you die at a costume party.”  
Robbie opened his mouth before shutting it and nodding.

The rest of the two hours passed with no incident except when someone spilled the punch, but that was easily resolved.   
As Molly loaded Lynda and Serene into her car, Robbie walked with Alex to his car.   
“Robbie? You’re going to the afterparty, right?”  
“Yeah, I guess. I mean, there are free drinks, so.”  
“Okay then! See you there!” Alex left Robbie to get his own car. 

The place the afterparty was held at was as much a tradition as the afterparty itself. It was called the Blind Rabbit, and it was a seedy little place at the edge of town. The thing that made it special, was on holidays, there was a contest. It wasn’t a trivia contest, or a drinking contest. It was a pole dancing contest. Any patron could try, and the winner got a bottle of wine. This had been explained to Alex about a week before by Lynda, who had said from experience that is was one of the most fun and stupid thing she had ever done. 

When they arrived, several teachers were already sitting at the bar or at long tables. The place was more packed than usual, with a good number of people on the dance floor at ten o'clock and the beat of steady music reverberating loudly. Robbie and the Wonder Women went to go find a table while Alex ordered drinks for them.   
They managed to find a round table in the back with enough seats for ll of them. Alex passed out drinks and sat.   
“Alex, you’re not going to have something?”  
“Oh, I don’t drink.” Alex replied, drumming his fingers on the tabletop.  
“Ah, makes sense. Lynda, Alex, you want to go dance?” Serene asked.   
“Yeah, let’s go.”

Molly sat and nursed her drink. “Robbie, you should go dance. It’ll be fun.”  
“No thanks, I think I’ll just sit here and drink.” He unclasped his cape and draped it on the back of his chair.  
“If you do that, you’ll need me to drive you home and that’ll be a hassle.” Molly frowned.  
“Damn. Why do you know me so well.” Robbie sighed.  
“Because that happened the past three years. You don’t learn from your mistakes.”  
“Right.”  
“Go on, it won’t kill you. If you don’t like it, you can sit back down.” Molly shooed him out of his chair.  
Robbie clutched his glass of whiskey and edged around the side of the crowd, settling to lean against the wall. He stayed there for a good few minutes, enjoying the burn of the alcohol in his throat. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Somebody slid up next to him, and he half-opened one eye, half expecting it to be Alex. Instead, it was a handsome stranger, about the same age. “Hey, beautiful. Wanna dance?” he asked Robbie.   
Robbie was a little surprised, this hadn’t happened in a while. His mind flashed to Alex briefly- his smile, when he sat in on Robbie’s classes, his hair after working out.   
He bit his lip. It was never going to happen, and he needed something to get his mind off it. “Sure.” Robbie answered, tossing back the rest of his drink and setting the empty glass down on a table, feeling a little twinge if guilt in his stomach. He followed the man, slipping deeper into the crowd of people. 

Alex was having fun bopping his head and swishing his arms with Serene and Lynda. He could feel the steady thrum of the bass thumping in his chest as he looked out at the crowd of people pulsing to the beat. He waved to Molly back at their table but didn’t see Robbie, who he’d expected to stay at the table. He scanned the crowd for slicked back hair and pale skin. He almost missed him, deep in the crowd. He kind of wished he had just looked past.   
Robbie was dancing with someone else that Alex didn’t know. The stranger, a man slightly shorter than Robbie, had his face buried in Robbie’s long neck, and his hands were stuck in Robbie’s back pockets. They were rhythmically grinding to the beat, Robbie clutching at the other man’s hips.   
A curl of something hot and jealous wormed its way into Alex’s stomach. He hated feeling it; if Robbie was happy, then he should be too. But still it curled in his abdomen, squeezing at his heart. He looked away. He bounced his head a few times along with Serene before something else caught his eye. The pole on a raised platform on the edge of the dance floor. An idea wormed its way into his head. It was a little petty, and jealous, and it probably wouldn't help anything.   
He decided to do it anyways.   
Alex waved at Serene and motioned back to the table. She nodded and kept dancing. He made his way back through the crowd to their table. Molly caught his eye.   
“Alex, is everything ok-”  
“I’m doing the contest.”  
“Why?”  
“...It’ll be fun?”  
Molly gave him a questioning look. “Okay, then.”  
Sportacus pulled off his wig and put it on the table. He tried to smile at Molly.   
He was glad when she walked him to the bar to sign up.  
“What’s your name?” the bartender asked.  
“Alex. Alex… Sportacus.”  
“All right then. I’ll change the music and give an announcement, and that’s your cue. At the end of the night, everyone votes, which should be in an hour or two.”  
Alex nodded. He could do this. He walked over to the platform with the pole and stood at the edge. He nodded at Molly as the music faded out and was replaced by the bartender’s smooth baritone.   
“Well folks, sorry to interrupt, but it looks like we’ve got a new competitor.”  
The crowd cheered, some of them gathering closer to the platform. Alex was perversely glad to see Robbie on his own again, near the front of the crowd. His collar was unbuttoned and rumpled and Alex could see the faint redness of a hickey on his collarbone. He growled a little in his throat.   
Well, his brother had always called him possessive. 

“MEN, GALS, AND PALS, PLEASE WELCOME ALEX SPORTACUS TO THE STAGE!”  
The upbeat dance music switched over to the start of something slow and sensual. Alex stepped up on the platform, his nerves jangling. A foot away from the pole he stopped. A few people laughed at his robe and pointy ears. Alex planted his feet and slid the robe off to reveal a plain white tank top and a pair of black leggings. Toeing off his shoes and socks, he scuffed a hand through his hair and grabbed the pole with a firm grip. He flexed his arms as the spotlights settled on him and raised himself up off the ground to do a vertical splits against the pole.   
He heards gasps ands murmurs from the crowd and he swung around the pole once before maneuvering his way a few feet higher in one fluid motion, legs whipping as he twisted in midair. He now hung with his back to the pole, legs gripping the top and hands keeping him steady. He made eye contact with Molly and winked, grinning.  
Alex slid down the pole so his feet were closer to his hands and his back was arched off it, thrusting his groin in the direction of the audience. A lot of people were exclaiming now.   
His eyes caught Robbie’s, who looked shocked and a little dazed. Alex didn’t break eye contact as he bent backwards to land on the floor with his hands and spring up into a handstand. He gripped the pole with his thighs and heaved himself up backwards so he looked like he was kneeling in midair, chest out and hands coming up to tangle in his hair. He gracefully fell from there, keeping one knee wrapped around the pole and letting the other foot drift down to touch the floor. Alex sunk to the ground in another splits, the pole pressing against his chest. He grabbed the pole and launched up again to suspend his feet a few inches off the floor, and used the momentum to slide a hand down the pole and spin around a few times. Using the last of the force he had, he twisted around so legs were tangled on the pole, feet twisted together, and his chest was touching the cold metal. He placed his hands on his hips and slid them up his chest, catching the hem of his tank top and pulling it up a few inches.   
He started bending over backwards and just as the music started to fade out, pushed his hands through his hair and slid down the pole enough to touch the floor with his hands. He unwound his legs from the pole and flipped from a handstand facing the audience to posing with his hands on his hips, facing the pole.   
The music died, replaced by an uproarious cheer. The bartender spoke up. “Well folks, remember to vote!” and cranked the regular music back up.   
Alex grabbed his robe from the ground and high fived a few people waiting at the edge of the platform, giving out smiles.   
Lynda and Serene stood by the edge of the platform too.   
“Oh my god Alex, where the fuck did you learn how to do that? Are you a secret stripper of something?” Serene asked, eyes wide.  
Sportacus’s already sweaty face flushed red. “Oh, I don’t know, it just kind of happened.”   
Lynda pretended to faint. “That was improv? How. What. Anyways, come on, sit down and have a glass of water, you look red.”  
Alex thankfully accepted the bottled water the bartender gave him as he followed them back to the table. Molly had already made her way back and sat down. She was similarly shocked.   
Alex broke in with, “Hey, do-does anyone know where Robbie went? I saw him a minute ago when I was on stage.”  
Lynda shrugged sympathetically. “Maybe he’s coming back to the table now?”  
Alex nodded. “I hope so.”

Robbie slunk along the edge of the crowd to duck into the bathroom. He swung into a stall and locked the door, sitting down on the toilet lid. He ran one hand through his frizzing hair and sank back against the wall.   
“Oh, fuck. Shit.” Robbie whispered into his hands. His brain was running a mile a minute, racing with thoughts.   
Fuckfuckfuckfuck he’s so hot so beautiful he’d never want a pale grumpy nerd like me he’s too charming and charismatic and golden  
too perfect perfect perfectperfectperfect   
Robbie hunched over, clutching his head in his hands as he struggled to calm his breathing. He imagined Glanni patting his back like when he was sick. “It’s going to be okay, Robin. You’re okay.”   
Robbie started to calm down. The voice changed, with the slight lilt of an accent and a comforting softness. “You’ll be all right, Robbie.”  
Robbie smacked his fist against the stall door, making the lock rattle.   
“Fuck.”

Alex sat at the table, fending off the occasional drunken fan searching for an autograph. The bartender had declared him the winner after only a few minutes, since all the votes were in. He tapped his fingers against the cool glass of the wine bottle. His stomach twisted. Had he done something to offend Robbie? Had the eye contact been too much? Did Robbie realize and not want him? Did Robbie hate him?  
Molly nudged him under the table.   
“Look, here he is.”  
Robbie was walking toward the table. His hair was mussed and his hands fidgeted. He pulled out a chair between Molly and Serene.   
Robbie opened his mouth. “Um. You did well, up there. Sportapole.”   
The corner of Alex’s mouth twitched up.  
“Thanks, Robbie. Actually, since I don’t drink, do you want the wine?”  
Robbie looked wide-eyed at Alex. “Really?”  
“Yes!” Alex grinned at him, pushing the bottle toward him.  
Robbie took the bottle. “Thank you.”

Molly yawned. “Well, Wonder Women, what do you say to heading home? I’m tired.”  
They all nodded in assent, tired.  
Alex stood as well. “I’m going home too. Robbie?”  
Robbie nodded. “Yeah, me too.”  
They walked out in a small clump, heading to their own cars.   
“Goodnight, Robbie.”  
“Goodnight, Sportaflop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pole dancing bit is very very loosely based off of the one video, “when a male ballet dancer attempts pole dancing”  
> It’s absolutely mesmerizing.


	7. Alex is really likes Robbie being dramatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter that’s almost completely plotless. Enjoy.

Alex ended up wearing the ears. He didn’t really mind, since they didn’t affect his movements and the kids thought they were funny. After a few day, he started wearing a hat to cover them, since it was cold anyways and he didn’t want to answers questions about why he was wearing them. Robbie had taken to calling him the blue elf or Sportaelf, but Alex didn’t mind. It was kind of nice, having nicknames. It made him feel welcomed, and usually meant Robbie wasn’t grumpy at him.   
On the first really cold morning when fall began edging into winter, the first Wednesday in December, Sportacus put on his now-customary hat. After parking his car, he jumped out and jogged along the crosswalk to school, head down. Suddenly, not paying attention, he knocked into someone and let out a small “Oof!”, falling backwards. The person caught him.   
“Sportdumb, you really should start wearing a coat. It’s only ten degrees out.” Robbie scolded.   
Alex blinked and looked up. Robbie was frowning, bundled up in a deep purple coat, orange earmuffs, and a light blue scarf.   
“Uh, yeah. Thanks for catching me, Robbie.” he quickly balanced himself out and walked toward the door. 

The day passed quickly for Alex. The highlights of the week for him had quickly become the periods where he could sit in on Robbie’s classes. Finally, two o’clock came and he made his way down to Robbie’s classroom. He could hear Robbie’s voice echoing from inside, so he cracked the door and slipped inside. At this point, none of the kids sitting on the floor so much as blinked an eye. Alex sat a few feet behind them.   
Robbie was pacing the floor, explaining how to deliver long pieces of dialogue and how to keep the audience’s attention on you. He cleared his throat, preparing an example. Alex lifted up into a handstand as Robbie began delivering lines.   
Robbie drifted across the floor, hands always moving. His exaggerated expressions and voice made him seem like he was handmade to fit onto center stage. He strode back to the right, voice booming. His hands came up to clutch at his heart.   
Alex overbalanced and tipped backward, falling to the floor with a thud and a muffled, “Heilagur rída.”  
Robbie paused. “Sportaflop?”’  
“I’m fine, Mr. Rotten. Sorry.” Alex said, sitting up.   
The kids giggled.   
Robbie waved a hand. “It’s-It’s fine. Where was I…”  
Sportacus sat in the back. He hadn’t meant to zone out, but Robbie really was a very good actor. The class went on to the kids practicing in their own groups, Robbie walking around and correcting little things.   
“Here, Tricky, make sure to face Pinky while you talk. That way she can hear you better and see your face.”  
“Gizmo, speak up. It’s only practice, Sticky won’t judge you for stumbling a little.”  
Alex was sitting in the corner next to Robbie’s chair, where a few pillows had been thrown as a cozy nest. Robbie was actually very good at working with children, able to point out things to work on and which roles they would be most comfortable in. Gentle suggestions to be a little louder or more extravagant worked like charms.   
Alex was close to drifting off as Robbie sat back down in his chair.   
“Finally, the great Sportacus vanquished. First he falls, then he almost falls asleep.” Robbie said, smirking.   
Alex opened one eye. “Hmm, do I hear something? Must be the buzz of the person who I’ve found asleep on lunch break at least three times.”  
Robbie squinted. “High talk for someone who comes up to my chin.”  
Alex stuck out his tongue, smiling.  
Robbie laughed. “Fair enough.”  
Alex ended up falling asleep for a few minutes, awoken by the bell and thinking of Robbie’s laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Alex says in Icelandic after he falls is, “holy shit.”  
> Very eloquent.


	8. Alex loses a contest, also known as the gayest sleepover of all time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex’s car breaks down, and Robbie may not be as cold-hearted as he seems. (does that count as a winter pun? I think so)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full of absolutely no plot. Also, I just- I just really like Icelandic lullabies, okay?

Alex slumped over the roof of his car. It was hopeless. His car had broken down sitting in the parking lot. He pulled his hat down over his eyes and groaned, shivering slightly.  
“Aha, somebody’s in trouble.” A low voice said behind him. “No coat in January, despite me commenting on it every single day!”  
“Robbie, I didn’t expect to be outside for more than five minutes.”  
“And?”  
“But my car broke down and now I’m walking home. And I got a call today that my heater broke down, the whole street’s generators were hit.” Alex sighed.  
Robbie grimaced. “Well, life’s a bitch.”  
Alex moaned something muffled into the roof of his car.  
Robbie paused. Could he… Maybe. “Um. Sportacold?”  
Alex pushed his hat up. “Yes, Robbie?”  
“Do you want.. A ride home? Or, you could maybe, um, stay at my place while somebody fixes the heat at your house?”  
Alex gaped at Robbie. “Really? You don’t mind?”  
“Yeah, sure.”  
He smiled and hugged Robbie. “Thank you! I promise I’ll make it up to you!”  
Robbie sighed. “I’m sure you will.”

“So. This is my house, I suppose.” Robbie announced, swinging the door open. Alex peeked in. The place was a wild mash of purple walls, black furniture, and a single pink chair sitting in the living room. The kitchen seemed to be the most coherent place, with white walls and a simple wooden table.  
“I only have one bedroom, but I won’t be sleeping anyw-”  
“What? No, no, I can take the couch. Why won’t you sleep?”  
“Well, grading season is coming up soon, and parent conferences. Also, insomnia.”  
Alex opened his mouth and shut it again. “Oh. That explains a lot.”  
“Yeah, it’s fun.” Robbie snorted.  
“Sorry, if I had known, I would have tried to help instead of telling you to stop drinking so much coffee, I didn’t realize-”  
Robbie cut him off, “Listen, not many people know or care. It’s not your problem.”  
Alex shrugged. “Well, I can make it my problem.”  
“No you can’t.”  
“I can, and I will. You will be asleep by nine tonight, I promise.” Alex stared him down.  
Robbie’s lips thinned into a straight line. “I’ll take that bet.” he turned and walked into the kitchen, dumping his briefcase on the table.  
Alex followed, putting his backpack on the floor. “Do you have any fruit?”  
“No.”  
“You really should start keeping some here.”  
“Why, do you plan on visiting again? Because I’m not going to eat it.”  
Alex blushed and ran a hand through his hair. “You might if it’s sitting out.”  
“I would never.” Robbie jokingly fainted. “I shiver at the thought. Health. Gross, Sportafruit.”  
Alex giggled. “Fine.”

Dinner was hard, since Robbie’s shelves were disturbingly full of sugar, but he found some chicken in the freezer. Alex volunteered to cook while Robbie set up a movie to watch.  
“This.. actually isn’t bad? Why have you been holding your inner chef back, Sportaflop?” Robbie dug into his chicken.  
“You don’t use your spice cabinet, you really should.” Alex commented distractedly as he took a bite of his dinner.  
“Damn, talent wasted on doing flips all day. It’s a tragedy.”  
Alex smiled. “Thanks.”

The movie Robbie had chosen was some nameless sitcom, starting just as the sky began to darken. Robbie had brought down at least six blankets and made a nest on the couch, curling up against the armrest. Alex in the middle, so Robbie’s socked feet were barely an inch from his legs.  
The movie wasn’t horrible, even pretty funny. It was long though, after only an hour and a half it was approaching eight thirty. Robbie noticed the clock ticking.  
“The time approaches. Be ready for defeat, Sportakook.”  
“Never.” Alex clicked the volume of the TV down a notch. He edged closer to Robbie, pulling him to lean against his side. “Okay?”  
Robbie nodded.  
Alex gently massaged Robbie’s shoulders and back, forcing him to relax. Grudgingly, Robbie admitted to himself that it might be working a little. The romcom ended ten minutes before nine and the room went dark. Robbie closed his eyes and let himself relax against Alex, head in his lap.  
Alex rhythmically massaged his shoulder and began humming under his breath.  
Robbie vaguely recognized the melody- it sounded like something his mother had sung to him as a child. That couldn’t be. He didn’t care. His breathing evened out and he went limp.  
Alex grinned, carefully lifting his hands off Robbie and sliding out from under him. He checked the clock. 8:02.  
“Ah, helviti.” He shook his head. Well, at least Robbie was asleep. He gently gripped him and lifted him up, still wrapped in blankets. He carried him upstairs and poked his head into the first room. It was painted purple, cluttered with a dresser and clothes lying on a chair in the corner. An orange comforter was rumpled on the bed in the middle of the room. Alex set Robbie down on the bed and folded the comforter over him.  
He hesitated before dropping a kiss on Robbie’s forehead and murmuring, “Fallegur. Góda nótt.”

In the morning, Robbie woke up with a jolt. Sunlight poured in from the open blinds. The smell of pancakes drifted up from the kitchen, along with a clatter of plates.  
He walked downstairs, t-shirt rumpled, to find Alex making breakfast in his loaned pajamas. The pants are rolled up and his shirt is too long, but hilariously tight around his shoulders and arms. He set down a plate on the table before noticing Robbie.  
“Good morning! How did you sleep? I made pancakes and eggs, sorry.”  
Robbie blinked. “How are you so awake? Also, technically, coming into my room is a violation of privacy, Sportasnoop.” He sat down at the table.  
Alex frowned. “Sorry, Robbie.”  
Robbie waved it off. “It’s fine, I don’t care. Thanks for helping me sleep, I guess.”  
Alex smirked. “You won though. It took you two extra minutes. So I made breakfast.”  
“Well, thanks.” Robbie loaded up a plate with pancakes and eggs, drenching them in syrup while Alex winced.  
He took a bite of the eggs and groaned. “Damn, I’m going to have to hire you to cook for me. Where the hell did you learn to cook like this?”  
“I cooked a lot as a kid, family recipes. You just need to add milk to the eggs to make them fluffier, and the pancakes are a family secret.”  
“You even put chocolate chips in them, you could have accidentally eaten one.”  
Alex shrugged. “I didn’t, and I’m glad you like them.”  
“Thanks for everything, Alex. I mean it.”  
“It’s no problem, really.”  
I would be glad to do it anytime, is what he didn’t say.


	9. A misunderstanding and the return of the leggings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love how at least half of these summaries are just me informing you that there is, in fact, no plot. That said, there is no plot except for maybe Ms. Lin, everyone’s favorite grumpy mom.

The start of parent conferences were always hell. There were always the easy ones, but then there were the two or three that wanted to be hard. For one, Trixie’s mother, Mrs. Lin.   
“Hello again, Mrs. Lin. Trixie had been exceptional in my class so far this year, but there are a few issues I’d like to go over.”  
Mrs. Lin frowned. “Of course, Robert.”  
Robbie forced a smile. Who even calls teachers by their first name anyways? And by the wrong one, no less.  
“Trixie is exceptional at delivering lines and performing- when she’s behaving. But in some classes, she refuses to listen, folds scripts into paper airplanes, and yells, all of which distract her classmates and slows down the progress.”  
Mrs. Lin nodded, still scowling. “What should I do about it?”  
Robbie sighed. “Well, that’s the hard part. She only acts out when she’s bored, otherwise she behaves perfectly. I think she just needs a challenge, is all. She’s really shown her skills as an actor, especially when she performs with an audience. I was thinking maybe sign her up for a class after school? It doesn’t have to be drama, anything would be good. That’s my opinion, anyways.”  
Mrs. Lin nodded. “Okay. Thank you, Robert.” she smiled at him. “I will.”  
She stood from her chair and walked out of the room.   
That hadn’t gone too badly. 

Next, and last, were Pixel’s parents. Robbie had a few minutes to wait before they came in, so he grabbed a script and started flipping through the pages. The door opened, and he looked up. Two men entered. Both wore name tags that read Mr. Hyperbyte.  
Oh. He hadn’t expected that.   
“Welcome, Misters Hyperbyte. My name is Mr. Rotten. Have a seat.”  
He gestured to two chairs set up in front of his desk, putting down the script.   
They both sat, seeming a little wary. The blonde one wearing a red collared shirt spoke. “How has Pixel been in your class?”  
Robbie smiled. “He does very well, usually. There is one thing I’d like to cover, however. Pixel seems to have a slight addiction to electronics, which sometimes distracts him from fully participating. He’s also a little shy, but both can be helped. Have either of you put restrictions on his internet usage?”  
The other one, a shorter black man in a yellow shirt, shook his head. “We watch him, but it makes him happy. We do make sure he does educational things as well as games.”  
Robbie nodded. “My personal recommendation would be to be just a little stricter- maybe none at school, just to avoid disruptions.”  
They nodded. “That certainly seems reasonable.”  
“Now, about his shyness. He sometimes has trouble with speaking up and stagefright. He does have some good friends to help him deal with it, but is he in any clubs or sports? They can help build confidence and make a looser connection of friends, rather than just a few tight friends that he relies on.”  
The blonde one shook his head. “No, he comes home right after school.”   
Robbie put his hands together. “That could help, especially a speech club or something like that.”  
They nodded, and started to get up.   
“Oh, wait, one more thing. Pixel wanted a small part, and specifically asked for one. Rosaline, who plays the smallest part in the excerpt we’re performing. Now-”  
The yellow-shirted one cut in with, “And? What’s wrong with that?”  
His husband glanced over at him and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down.  
“You shouldn't keep him from playing the role he wants to play! It’s homophobic and-”  
Robbie held up his hands. “Please Mr. Hyperbyte, I assure you I am not homophobic, I was going to-”  
“How do we know that?” He went on, glaring at Robbie. The blonde one bit his lip.   
“Mr. Hyperbyte, I’m gay. I’m fairly sure I’m not homophobic. As I was going to say, I wanted to make sure you were okay with him performing the role of Rosaline, since he would wear a dress and wig, which I could easily make for his size, and he would complete the cast. I take it that’ll be fine?”  
Both Hyperbytes stared at Robbie. The blond snorted and started laughing. His husband sighed and covered his face with his hand. “Mr. Rotten, I’m so sorry. I’m just really on edge, I apologize for assuming. That’ll be fine, thank you. We’ll be sure to sign him up for a club. Again, I’m sorry.”  
Robbie smiled. “It’s fine. I know how it is. Anyways, Pixel’s a good kid, he’ll do well.”  
The Hyperbytes waved goodbye as they hustled out of the room, slightly shamefaced. 

Robbie swept his papers into his briefcase and laughed. What a day. At least it was over.   
He locked the door to his classroom and walked out, weaving between the many parents walking down the hall. As he made his way to the gym, he stole a cookie from the refreshments table set up in the main office. Robbie opened the door to the weights room and called, “Sportadork, I’m done!” before striding in and almost fainting.   
Alex was wearing leggings again, this time sans shirt, and lifting weights that looked like they weighed at least ninety pounds.   
He pushed up the weights one last time and sat up, smiling at Robbie, who tried not to stare at the sweat pouring down his chest.   
“Hi Robbie! How was it?”  
Robbie shook himself. “You’re lucky to not have to do conferences.”  
Alex shrugged. “I wouldn't meeting some of the parents, really.” He jumped up and grabbed a towel, quickly wiping his face and chest before throwing on a t-shirt.   
“Ready to go?”  
Robbie nodded. 

“Why doesn’t your car smell like a locker room?” Robbie asked after sliding into the passenger seat, briefcase in lap.   
Alex side-eyed him. “Because I shower.”  
Robbie held up a little pine tree. “And use an air freshener?”  
“Fine, I cheat a little. Your car smells like cake though.”  
“Guilty as charged. Thanks for driving me, by the way.”  
“It’s no problem, I’m glad to help. I still owe you, though.”  
“No, you don’t, you baked me cupcakes last week. Remember? And I almost punched you for being an idiot?”  
Alex snorted. “Fine.”

Alex let Robbie out in front of his house.   
“See you on Monday, Robbie!” he called.   
“See you then. Thanks.” Robbie waved, and turned to walk to his front door.   
He sat for a minute in front of Robbie’s house before starting the car again.  
His stomach twisted as he drove away. He would probably never see inside Robbie’s house again, but he still hoped.


	10. Glanni has the time of his life being the baddest bitch on the block

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some plot??? Unheard of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there’s a HUGE time skip here. It’s only a week until the war, BUT. Hear me out, it is totally very canon that Alex and Robbie spent a very awkward Christmas together.

Robbie would never admit it, but he was a little bit excited for the war. It was a little bit strange this year, since he knew someone on the other side. Hell, he was even a little excited for Glanni to visit.  
The theme this year was Shakespearean insults and sword fighting- a tie. Instead of just deciding, they had asked Robbie to make ten swords out of foam and verse everybody in the proper insults. Did they have no respect for laziness?  
The foam swords were easy enough to make and paint, but teaching insults? Not his forte. He decided to simply compile a list and pass them out to everybody. Hands-off teaching, he called it. Laziness, Alex called it.  
Wonderful, exactly what he was going for.  
The actual war was exactly a week from now. Today, he was going to pick up Alex before school, since his car was apparently being borrowed. On the way, Robbie tried to figure out who could be borrowing Alex’s car. By the time he got there, he still didn’t have a clue.  
He pulled into the driveway, announcing his arrival with the crunch of gravel. To his surprise, Alex’s car was still sitting there. A face that was distinctly not Alex looked out the open kitchen window. He had a bushy moustache that was almost worse than Alex’s and a goatee that was definitely worse.  
He called over his shoulder, “Bródir! Einhver er í heimreidinni. Þekkir pú hann?”  
Robbie did a double take. That was Icelandic for sure. He almost had a heart attack when Alex replied, “Eru þeir háir, þreytandi fjólubláir?”  
“Já, mjög heitt líka. Er hann kærastinn þinn?” Not-Alex asked.  
Robbie blushed deep red, but waited to hear the reply.  
Alex yelled back, “Íþro! Hann er vinur minn!”  
The man, Íþro, questioned, “En þú líkar mér?”  
“Haltu áfram!” Alex yelled, pulling open the door and walking out to Robbie’s car.  
Well, that was disappointing. Robbie didn’t get an answer. Well, at least now he could see how long it would take for Alex to catch on.  
Alex slid into the passenger seat. “Sorry I took a minute. Let’s go.”  
Robbie grinned. “Ekkert mál. Er þad bródir þinn?”  
Alex stared out the window. “Yeah, that’s h- Wait, what?”  
“I said, is that your brother?” Robbie smiled wickedly at Alex. He started the engine and pulled out of the driveway.  
“You can speak Icelandic?” Alex’s face was completely red. He put his face in his hands.  
“I could ask you the same question, but I believe that’s been answered. My family moved to America when I was a kid. Remember Glanni? He just moved here a few years ago, after my mother passed away. Actually, he’s coming to visit for the war, he’ll be at school tomorrow to help me take down some props from the play.”  
Alex groaned. “The war’s why Íþro’s visiting too. He said he wouldn't miss it. He just moved here last year, to New York. I got here five years ago.”  
“What’s his job?”  
“Police officer.”  
“Oh. Makes sense, I think I’ve heard of him.”  
“How?” Alex asked curiously.  
“No reason.” Robbie shrugged. “Do you know all the insults yet?”  
“Almost. I’ll be ready, though.”  
“Good.”

_______The next day_______

Robbie had some worries about bringing Glanni to school. For one, how much would he actually help? Probably not at all, to tell the truth. Also, he needed to keep him away from Molly at all costs. Last year, they had become friends, and it had not gone well for Robbie.  
Nevertheless, Glanni was coming, and Robbie had very little say in it at this point.  
“I want to talk to him.” Glanni remarked as they neared school, checking his nails.  
“No.” Robbie held a deadpan expression.  
“For five minutes?”  
“No way.”  
“Fine. Molly?” Glanni pleaded, eyes wide.  
“Never again.”  
“I’ll find a way, you’re keeping me from all the good gossip.”  
He parked and let Glanni out. “Remember, be on your best behavior, there are children.”  
Glanni waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, no flirting, no cussing, no-- Hold on ONE FUCKING MINUTE WHY THE HELL IS HE HERE?” Glanni screeched at Robbie.  
“Shh, who- oh, shit.” Robbie groaned. Alex’s car was parked near the gym, and his brother was walking towards the building next to him. “Glanni, shush, that’s Alex’s brother-”  
Glanni glared at Robbie. “Robbie. You didn’t think to mention that my enemy is your boytoy’s brother?” he hissed, shaking Robbie.  
“Well, I just found out yesterday, and I didn’t think he’d be here today. Wait here, don’t move an inch. I mean it.” Robbie jogged towards the gym.  
He opened the door and caught sight of Alex and Íþro walking down the hallway.  
“Sportaflop! Sportaflop, get over here.” Robbie yelled quietly. Both turned to face him, Alex walking closer. “Robbie? What’s going on? I brought Íþro to help with the props.”  
“Okay, I didn’t say earlier, but Glanni hates your brother with a burning passion, and if possible, he needs to leave or hide or somethi-”  
Robbie heard the door click open behind him. “Oh no.” he put a hand over his eyes.  
Glanni strutted in, one hand on his hip and the other swinging by his side. He wore black skinny jeans with a hot pink tank top, and somehow in the ten seconds Robbie had left him alone, he had managed to apply winged eyeliner and black lipstick.  
“So, we meet again.” he announced to Íþro.  
“Glæpur.” Íþro growled, eyes narrowed.  
“Robbie, what’s happening?” Alex asked, brows knit together.  
“Glanni may or may not have been a mob boss back in Iceland, and your brother may or may not have had some questionable escapades with him.”  
Alex let out a soft “Oh.” He blinked. “So this is the Glæpur.”  
“Indeed I am! The one and only. So, I’ve been talked about? How charming.” Glanni smirked.  
Robbie slapped a hand over Glanni’s mouth and said, “We’re going to move this someplace more private. Come on.”  
He led them all to the Batcave, thankful that he got here early. School wouldn't start for twenty minutes. Alex looked worried as Robbie pushed Glanni into the room and announced, “You too, Íþro. You’re going to sort whatever you’ve got going on out, then meet Alex and I back in my room. Good luck.” He pulled the fabric across the window and shut the door.  
“Is that really the best idea?” Alex asked.  
“Probably not, but I hope it works.” Robbie answered and led the way back to his classroom. 

Fifteen minutes later, Glanni walked in with Íþro following him. Worryingly, Glanni’s lipstick was wiped off and Íþro looked slightly dazed. Robbie decided to worry about that later, while Alex looked a little less confused and muttered, “Oh.”  
“Okay, glad you got that worked out. Anyone still want to help move props?” Robbie asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex finally finds out who that one dude his brother keeps yammering on about is. what happened in the closet? who knows!! I know it’s kind of awkward to read all this down here and (for those of you not knowing Icelandic like me) suffering through a chapter without having a clue of what it means, but the translated Icelandic is: 
> 
> Brother! There’s someone in the driveway. Do you know him?”  
> “Is he tall, wearing purple?”  
> “Yes, very hot. Is he your boyfriend?”  
> “Ípro! He’s my friend.”  
> “But you like him?”  
> “Shut up!”
> 
> “No problem. Is that your brother?”


	11. In which there are swords and happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strap on your seatbelts kiddos. The last chapter has arrived. The war is here!

Robbie stood backstage, passing out foam swords. The teachers milled around backstage, listening to the chatter of kids from beyond the closed curtain and swiping at each other with their swords. Alex was walking around on his hands, sword clutched between his feet, hamming it up with Lynda and Molly.   
Robbie peeked out the crack in the curtain. It looked like all the classes were here, and he spotted Glanni sitting next to Íþro in the back, holding hands. The day of the Incident, Glanni had claimed Robbie’s car to drive off with Íþro, and Robbie didn’t know and didn’t want to know where they went. Glanni had walked back into the house at half past one am and fallen asleep on the sofa. Since then, they appeared to have made up (and made out) quite spectacularly.   
He pulled his head back and walked backstage again. All the teachers were ready, and he grabbed his own purple sword.   
“Ready, Sportaknight?”   
Alex nodded. “You did a good job on the swords, Robbie. This is going to be great!” He smiled and clasped Robbie’s shoulder. “It’ll be great.” He ran back across the stage to hunker down.   
The curtains slid open and a spotlight focused on center stage.   
“WELCOME TO THIS YEAR’S WAR!”  
The crowd roared, cheering loud enough to be heard outside.   
“THANKS TO MR. ROTTEN FOR MAKING THE SWORDS, AND LET THE FUN BEGIN!”  
The gym teachers rushed out from one side of the stage, and the arts teachers the other. Meeting in the middle, all started yelling and tossing out insults, hitting each other harmlessly with the swords.  
“Ye lily-bellied bilge rats!”  
“Thy is a bull’s pizzle stockfish!”  
“I’ll beat thee, but I’ll infect my hands!”   
Robbie stuck to the edge, where he wasn’t so much fighting as poking his sword at people and dramatically faking death every ten seconds.   
“Thou cream faced loon!” Molly bellowed and stabbed at Alex’s shoulder. He ducked awkwardly and got poked in the eye harshly. He clutched at his face, lost in the confusion. He dropped his sword and tried to stand up, unbalanced. Robbie dove into the crowd of yelling. He pulled Alex to the wings discreetly and gave a thumbs-up to Molly.   
He patted Alex on the back. “Come on, Sportasword, let’s put some ice on that. It got hit pretty hard.”  
Alex nodded, one hand still covering his eye. He followed Robbie to the cafeteria to get some ice and then back to the Batcave, where Robbie pushed him down to sit on the table.   
“Sit, Sportaflop.” Robbie gently pushed the baggie of ice against his eye. The echoes of raceously cheering children barely reached the Batcave.   
Robbie held the ice up against Alex’s face, crouching down between his legs.   
“I’ll be fine in a minute, Robbie.” Alex protested. “Someone’s probably noticed we’re gone.”  
“Well, they can deal with it, you got hurt.” Robbie squinted. “Slakadu á.”  
“Shut up.” Alex laughed.   
“Make me, Sportakook.” Robbie replied snarkily before flushing a deep red. “Sorry.” he added, murmuring as he shifted the ice.  
Alex’s cheeks turned pink, matching Robbie’s. “No, it’s-it’s fine.” Heart thumping, he put a hand on Robbie’s shoulder, making him drop the ice and look up at Alex. “Mjög fínt, reyndar.”  
Robbie opened his mouth to reply, but Alex leaned down until there was barely an inch between them. Robbie could feel Alex’s breath on his cheek and the slight cold radiating from where the ice had been.   
“Robbie, can I-“  
Robbie tilted his face up and pressed his lips to Alex’s hesitantly, hands hovering by his hips but not touching. He pulled back after a second.   
“You.. I.. when?” Alex breathed out, lips twitching into a smile.   
“I.. don’t know? Obviously I noticed that you were hot from the start, but.. sometime after I got sick.” Robbie mumbled, letting his hands come to rest on Alex’s hips.  
Alex laughed. “You never noticed?”  
“No, I thought you wouldn’t like me.” Robbie bit his lip and looked down at the floor.   
Alex tilted his chin up and leaned in again, saying softly, “Well, I think I’ll go ahead and break that thought.” He put a hand on Robbie’s neck and pulled him up to kiss him again.   
This time, Robbie ran his hands up Alex’s sides to tangle in his hair. Alex slid off the table and walked Robbie back until he was pressed against the wall, not breaking the contact. He gently opened his mouth, running his tongue along Robbie’s lips. Robbie let out a muffled sound as Alex grabbed his hips, pushing him up against the wall.   
“Can I-“  
“Yes, Alex, oh god.” Robbie groaned as Alex trailed his mouth down his neck, landing on a collarbone and biting it roughly, tongue swirling.   
Robbie clutched at Alex’s hips, then paused. “O-oh, Alex, wait a second.”   
Alex looked up. “Yes, Robbie? What?”  
“I- I didn’t even lock the door, or pull the curtain over the window, there are kids out there-“ he laughed awkwardly. “Here… probably isn’t the best place for this.”  
Alex sighed and backed away. “Ah, you’re right. Sorry, they’ll probably be expecting us back onstage soon.”  
Robbie held a hand up to Alex’s face. “Your eye looks better. You’ll be fine.” He dropped a kiss on his forehead. “Let’s go, we still have a little time.”  
They walked out of the Batcave just in time to hear the crowd chant, “SPORT-A-CUS! SPORT-A-CUS! SPORT-A-CUS!”  
Alex broke into a sprint, smiling and waving back at Robbie, who kept his slower pace.   
He arrived back at the theater just in time to watch Alex backflip back onto the stage. Molly tossed him her sword and he did a handspring to whack Lynda squarely on the shoulder.   
Robbie picked up the sword he had dropped at the edge of the stage, walking back on. He was a little surprised to hear the crowd cheer for him, too. He awkwardly waved to audience before poking his sword into Alex’s side mid-flip. Alex squeaked and almost missed his landing, falling into an unbalanced handstand. He gave Robbie a exaggerated frown. “That’s no way to treat your boyfriend, Robbie.”  
Robbie choked, face red. “I- uh-”  
Alex immediately stopped. “Sorry Robbie, maybe that was a little soon-”  
“Really?” Robbie whispered, just loud enough to be heard.   
“Yes, if you want!”  
“Of course.” Robbie smiled.   
Molly rushed by, chased by one of the gym teachers. “Oh my god, you’re dating, I can’t believe it- hey, stop it, you yellow-bellied troll, this is a sappy moment!”   
Alex laughed and joined the chase, Robbie following.   
_________________________________

After the war finally ended, the teachers met up in Robbie’s room to hand back the swords and pack up.   
Molly, Lynda, and Serene piled onto Alex in a group hug, yelling. “You actually did it! Oh my god!”  
Alex grinned. “Forever grateful to Molly for hitting me in the eye.”   
Robbie stood off to the side, still smiling. Suddenly, he keeled over, attacked from behind. “Pumpkin! Thank the lord you took my advice, it was getting painful to watch!”  
“Glanni? How do you already know?” Robbie wheezed, and pushed him off.   
Glanni winked. “A master never tells his secrets, kiddo.”   
Lynda called over, “You were holding hands in the hallways coming back from the theater, neither of you are very secretive.”  
Alex chuckled. “True. I don’t mind everybody knowing as long as Robbie’s okay with it.”  
Robbie shrugged. “I don’t care.”  
Glanni groaned. “You two are too sweet. Can we leave now, sugarpie?”  
He rolled his eyes. “Fine. Uh, Alex?”   
Alex looked up. “Yes, Robbie?”  
“Íþro’s still borrowing your car? You want a ride?”  
“Sure! Or… movie night again?”  
Robbie grinned. “Yeah.”  
Glanni sighed. “I swear to god. Fine, I’m going with Íþro. You two have fun being sickeningly cute.” He waltzed out the doors to find him.   
Alex shrugged and held out his hand to Robbie. “Let’s go?”  
Robbie took it and led the way out to the hallway. 

Summer was going to be fun, but he almost couldn't wait for next year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translated Icelandic:   
> “Relax.”  
> “Very fine, actually.”
> 
> Thank you so much if you’re reading this last bit! I have a lot to improve with my writing but I think I’m light years ahead of where I started. Please tell me if you spot any errors or anything that doesn’t make sense, I’m not very good at editing haha. Have a lovely day!


End file.
